a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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