So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
