so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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