You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
