Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
