I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
