i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
