SEEEEXXX PLEASE
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
