i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
