Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
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