I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
