I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
What a fucking waste of an outfit
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
