When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
