I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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