What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
