The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
