There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Do vagina's smell?
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
