I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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