If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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