im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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