Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Randomize
