Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
