Kareoke will never be a sober sport
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
