FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I will pee on everything he values.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
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