Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
