I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
