Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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