dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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