Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
