Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
