Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
