That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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