Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
