let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
