I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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