There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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