Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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