Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
