Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
