things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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