How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize