Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
