he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
