so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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