I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Randomize
