based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
