So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
