the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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