Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
