It's like a parade of train wrecks.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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