So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Randomize
