I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize