clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
