She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
