theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
being pregnant is like rehab
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Randomize
