GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
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