Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Randomize
