was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Randomize