apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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