Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
My breath smells like gin and sadness
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize