And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
