i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
