I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Sex in the backyard? Check.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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